T Minus 8 Days – The Wife, The Drycleaner and The $20 Bill

TGIF … just over a week to go.  And now for something completely different.  Indulge me as I lead into the weekend with a beer drinking joke.  Names have been changed to protect the “not so innocent”.

What happens on the bus trip stays on the bus trip

Our fearless beer fest leader Mark used to organize an annual bus trip to see a Jacksonville Jaguars game.

And you know what they say, boys will be boys. Before we’d even left the parking lot at 9am, our bus full of guys was like a college frat house party. Sadly it was more Revenge of the Nerds than Animal House, but the nerds were still a college fraternity, so the analogy still works.

Now when it comes to this trip, there’s a strict gag order in place.  What happens on the bus trip stays on the bus trip.  So I don’t want to break any confidences by telling this story.

Way to go Chuck!

The football game is over, and we’re on the bus ride back home.  Our story now turns to focus on a friend, who for the purposes of this story, we’ll call Chuck.

Chuck doesn’t get out that much, and maybe the chili wasn’t sitting well with him, or maybe it was the bratwurst, or perhaps he had overindulged in adult beverages. But as Chuck leans back in his bus seat, he throws up down the front of his shirt.

Immediately he breaks out into tears, crying like a school girl, sobbing “My wife is going to leave me. I’m just a miserable old drunk and now I’m going to die alone”.

Our fearless leader Mark turns to him and says “Listen Chuck, it’s not that bad. You can get out of this. Take a $10 bill and put it in your shirt pocket. When you get home, tell your wife that you had a couple beers and some guy on the bus puked on you. Tell her that he gave you the $10 to pay for the shirt to be cleaned.”

Chuck looks disbelievingly at him and says “That just might work. Thank you.”

The bus pulls back into town and Chuck’s pals take him straight home.  When he walks through the front door, his wife is waiting for him and she is mad. She takes one look at him and screams “I can’t believe it. You’re drunk. I warned you but you just don’t care. I’m moving out.”

Chuck says, “Stop honey. Let me explain. True I did have a couple beers, but I’m not drunk.”

She says “Look at you! Your shirt is covered with vomit!”

Chuck says “I didn’t do this. A drunk guy next to me on the bus threw up on me. He put a $10 bill in my shirt pocket to pay for the dry cleaning. You can see for yourself.”

Wait for the punch line...

Chuck’s wife reaches into his pocket and pulls out some money. She looks at it, then to him, and says “But this is a $20 bill?”

Chuck looks at her and shrugs “Oh, I forgot. He crapped in my pants too”.

Don’t be Chuck. Obviously this story is complete fiction, but it made me laugh because I’ve met a couple of Chucks over the years.  This story is also a reminder to drink responsibly. The Bluffton Beer Festival is about quality, not quantity.

Credit where credit is due …. this story originally appeared at http://www.worlddrinkingtour.com/tell-me-story-about-chuck-norris.

Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *