Lagerheads usually emerge at night. They orient themselves toward the bar with the brightest lights. Visible lights from buildings or streets near the bar may disorient the Lagerheads, and may cause them to lose their way.
Beware the powerful flapping jaws of the Lagerhead.
Always observe Lagerheads from a distance and refrain from using flash photography.
Do not harass a Lagerhead. Don’t touch or prod one to move.
And by all means, always stay at least 50 yards away from a Lagerhead during mating season.
While not quite an endangered creature, remember that Lagerheads are protected by the Town of Bluffton.
I kid the Lagerheads … but it’s all in good fun. (In case you’re new to the area, the above is just a parody of Hilton Head and its Loggerhead Sea Turtles.) Don’t be a beer snob. There are too many craft beer lovers that discover the bitter glory of an IPA, and begin to cast a condescending glance toward lager and lager drinkers. Let’s face it, Bluffton is a lager town. And pale yellow fizzy lagers are, of course, the best selling type of beer in the world.
If you’re a beer snob who only drinks IPAs, this weekend we challenge you to try a lager. We’ve got at least 22 of them for you to choose from, so you don’t really have an excuse. While I haven’t tried them all, I can tell you that Victory’s Prima Pils is a good choice for an IPA fan.
And if you’re already a lager fan, we’ve got you covered. I’d recommend starting with something you’ve never had before … maybe Joe’s Premium Pils or Brooklyn Lager, or maybe one of the Oktoberfests. We’ve got a great selection of American craft lagers and European lagers. In addition to the more typical pilseners, we’ve also got some bocks (stronger and usually sweeter), dark lagers (usually a bit mellower than the pale lagers), and an Imperial Pilsener from Grand Teton Brewing Company that I can’t wait to try.
Here are the lagers we’re expecting …
American Craft Lagers
Joe’s Premium Pils – Avery Brewing Company – Boulder, CO (4.7%American Pale Lager)
Brooklyn Lager – Brooklyn Brewery – Brooklyn, NY (5.2% American Amber/Red Lager)
Sankaty Light Lager – Cisco Brewers – Nantucket, MA (3.8% Light Lager)
Session Lager – Full Sail Brewing Company – Hood River, OR (5.1% American Pale Lager)
Full Sail LTD Series 02 – Full Sail Brewing Company – Hood River, OR (6.4% Maibock/Helles Bock)
Session Black -Full Sail Brewing Company – Hood River, OR (5.4% Schwarzbier/Black Lager)
Persephone Imperial Pils – Grand Teton Brewing Company – Victor, ID (8.7% Imperial Pilsner)
Howl – Magic Hat – South Burlington, VT (4.6% Schwarzbier – Black Lager)
Pig Pen Pilsner – Piggly Wiggly/Thomas Creek (4.5% American Pale Lager)
Dockside Pilsner – Thomas Creek Brewery – Greenville, SC (4.5% German Pilsener)
Prima Pils – Victory Brewing Company – Dowington, PA (5.3% German Pilsener)
Stella Artois – Stella Artois (InBev) – Leuven, Belgium (5.5% Euro Pale Lager)
Pilsner Urquell – Plzensky Prazdroj, a. s. – Plzen, Czech Republic (4.4% Czech Pilsener)
Spaten Oktoberfest – Spaten-Franziskaner Brau – Munich, Germany (5.9%Marzen/Oktoberfest)
Spaten Optimator – Spaten-Franziskaner Brau – Munich, Germany (7.6% Doppelbock)
Warsteiner Pils – Warsteiner Brauerei – Warstein, Germany (4.8% German Pilsener)
Warsteiner Oktoberfest – Warsteiner Brauerei – Warstein, Germany (5.0% Marzen/Oktoberfest)
Warsteiner Dunkel – Warsteiner Brauerei – Warstein, Germany (4.9% Munich Dunkel Lager)
Guinness Black Lager – Guinness – Dublin, Ireland (4.5% Euro Dark Lager)
Claro – Bavaria Brewery – Lieshout, The Netherlands (5.0% Euro Pale Lager)
Daura – Estrella Damm – Barcelona, Spain (5.4% Euro Pale Lager)
Estrella Damm Draft – Estrella Damm – Barcelona, Spain (5.4% Euro Pale Lager)
And if you need one more reason to love lager, think of the commercials man! Where would modern civilization be without Bitter Beer Face?
Why else would we argue so much over whether it tastes great or is less filling? (Or find such guilty pleasure in watching others make the argument?)
To get you in the mood for some international lager, here’s a random sampling of entertaining lager commercials from around the world …